There is infinite space in this world for hurt and pain and suffering. There is sinking and panic and fear. There is missing and questioning and anger. There are layers of protection we build. Armor we don. Perhaps slowly. After the tragedy has passed. We layer ourselves with protective mechanisms, compensatory strategies, whatever it takes to keep moving forward without busting open the scab. And we try to heal. And the hurt resurfaces. And fear. And anger. And doubt. We long to make sense of this grief. Even that word, grief. Make sense of it? It hurts. It is a pit in your stomach. It is numbness. It is darkness. It is uncertainty.
There is something else that is infinite. It is not rainbows and puppies and unicorns. But it is on the other side of grief. It is comfort and resilience. It is nourishing and strengthening. It is finding abundance through connection in loss. It is why we are all here, longing for a virtual hug, for re-assurance. For someone to say the magical thing that will take just 1% of the pain away, for just one minute.
I am here, finally asking for and giving permission to grieve. Among friends. And so it begins….